Saturday, July 2, 2005

freeloader

what exactly is the definition of a freeloader? someone who takes advantage of other ppl's wealth and/or generosity? Or someone who clear the buffet table cos they think they paid a relatively high price for a buffet lunch (see, the idea of buffet is like a "free" food galore concept, no?).

well, i was called a freeloader the other nite by a ... guess what? a pretty close fren. i was upset. very upset... i tried not to show it cos in the first place, my actions in the not very far past had led her or anyone else to call me a freeloader. in other words, i deserved to be called as one.

granted. however, the next day, i still couldnt get over it. i told a fren. she said it was not nice of her to say such a thing to you. she's known me for quite a long time - coming to ten years soon; yet, she could say such a thing to you. it just goes to show how much she knows about you (me).

i think it is funny that when a human being does less of what is deemed wrong, they're a better person. she hung out at this place which i was given the right to babysit lesser than i did didnt make her less a freeloader, does it? how about doing a your homework first before you really called me that, my dear? kinda pissed me off there... sigh. another fren said, isnt it better that she said it in front of you than behind of you? yes and no. God knws what else these ppl talk behind your back, right?

i personally feel that the trust and the camaraderie of this group of frens that i usually hung out with is slowly and gradually diminishing. ppl, naturally, like to finger point and many a time, i was the "victim" for breaking the "dynamic of the grp". funny no one come to me and thank me personally for including them in plans such as movies, drinking sessions, partying, makan-makan, shopping etc. not that everytime i plan, i'd like to do that. no. i did it cos i want to, period.

i guess at the end of the day, ppl are very selfish. and if they are insecure, they're unable to see the bigger picture. or maybe i'm being over-sensitive. but i do think that my life goes on. if they cant appreciate my generosity, and my sincerity and that they need special attention, then, i'm sorry. no one gets special attention except those that deserved it.

5 comments:

johnybravo said...

chill out there man, wont want to spoil your mood for the upcoming hiking trip, its going to be fun!

_ethnwg said...

hey thanks dude! im gonna chill out at chillin'! so lookin fwd, man!

csb said...

babe...well....lets just say ...dun get too upset over all these menial stuffs....like u mentioned...see theb bigger pic...im sure that looks nicer than this...:-)

Anonymous said...

You don't have to defend if you are not one.

_ethnwg said...

sigh... if u think that i am defending myself then, whoever you are, you truly do not knw me well enuff. and i am sorry, i am not defending myself. i was more like expressing my feelings with regard to what had taken place. if i am defending myself, i will tell the world more abt from the day the incident happened down to the last day we resorted it. i din want to be petty and i let bygone b bygone. ppl can go on and say, bitch, and doubt me. at the end of the day, i knw what i did and my conscience is clear.

and btw, i am not anonymous abt it. if ur a fren of mine, then u ought to take my comment as a way of trying to understand me and that i am merely expressing my views. and if im wrong, why not u correct me? i hv never been one-sided or close-minded. think abt it

good luck in life